Friday, May 25, 2007
My No Cell Phone Manifesto
Last week I got rid of my cell phone. It wouldn't work anymore, so I went to the shop, and the guy told me that I needed a new memory card. Problem was, I couldn't buy it 'cause I didn't have the necessary data. Then, in my way to the hairdresser, I said to myself: I don't need this fucking thing! I don't want this fucking thing! And threw it in the first basket I saw. Oh man, I felt freed. 'Cause why do people have to be able to find me at any time? God, I have an e-mail which I use a lot, I have a phone at my place, there's one at my parents' place, at my brothers', girlfriend's, friends', workplace if I had one... (I don't have it but when I'm working I'm always on-line!). So in all these places people can find me! But while I am in the street, it's because 1) I'm in my way to somewhere, 2) I'm going to meet somebody, or 3) I'm plainly having a walk! Or a run. Gosh, I also think using cell phones in public is RUDE! I mean, if I'm looking for books in a bookstore alley I don't need to listen to some fucking bastard just out of business school talking 'bout his next business meeting! (And the guy will talk as loud as possible, the man will make a performance of his talk!) 'Cause while I'm looking for clothes I don't need to listen to some artificially tanned, dyed haired, snooty girl telling somebody at the other end that she'll be in Bangkok the following week! There are cell phones ringing all the time in every restaurant, have you noticed? And why do all people set their ring tones to some stupid, continuous rhythm? Wasn't it enough and less irritating the old tii-long silence-tii-long silence-tiii? Even your own friends stop talking to you, stop eating their own fucking food because some fucking assholes call them at lunch time! Is that thing somebody has to tell you more important than savouring your coffee or listening to the words of the friend in front of you? And then you see this girl tired of looking up and down, right and left, because the girl she's supposed to be having a drink with has been 10 minutes on the phone! That's fucking rude! And you see these couples in expensive French restaurants, candles and stuff, the guy trying to seduce her, and then the phone rings, and she answers! Jesus! You can be having sex with your girlfriend and her phone may ring at any time! So MAN, I quit! Is somebody dying? 'Cause unless somebody's dying, please don't call me! Don't call my friends while we are together! Don't call my girlfriend! I don't want to be always in touch! I'm not a fucking policeman or fireman! And it's no use turning the damn thing off 'cause they'll tell you "why did you turn it off?", "why did you leave it at home?" So I'm definitely not buying another one of these. I'll keep on writing e-mails, using Skype, and trying to meet my friends to have coffe or dinner or whatever. And yes, I'll keep my Brazilian cell phone, but that's another story, Brazil is not in the fucking First World, there there's the chance of being kidnapped and left in the land of nobody! DAMN!