Friday, May 25, 2007

My No Cell Phone Manifesto

Last week I got rid of my cell phone. It wouldn't work anymore, so I went to the shop, and the guy told me that I needed a new memory card. Problem was, I couldn't buy it 'cause I didn't have the necessary data. Then, in my way to the hairdresser, I said to myself: I don't need this fucking thing! I don't want this fucking thing! And threw it in the first basket I saw. Oh man, I felt freed. 'Cause why do people have to be able to find me at any time? God, I have an e-mail which I use a lot, I have a phone at my place, there's one at my parents' place, at my brothers', girlfriend's, friends', workplace if I had one... (I don't have it but when I'm working I'm always on-line!). So in all these places people can find me! But while I am in the street, it's because 1) I'm in my way to somewhere, 2) I'm going to meet somebody, or 3) I'm plainly having a walk! Or a run. Gosh, I also think using cell phones in public is RUDE! I mean, if I'm looking for books in a bookstore alley I don't need to listen to some fucking bastard just out of business school talking 'bout his next business meeting! (And the guy will talk as loud as possible, the man will make a performance of his talk!) 'Cause while I'm looking for clothes I don't need to listen to some artificially tanned, dyed haired, snooty girl telling somebody at the other end that she'll be in Bangkok the following week! There are cell phones ringing all the time in every restaurant, have you noticed? And why do all people set their ring tones to some stupid, continuous rhythm? Wasn't it enough and less irritating the old tii-long silence-tii-long silence-tiii? Even your own friends stop talking to you, stop eating their own fucking food because some fucking assholes call them at lunch time! Is that thing somebody has to tell you more important than savouring your coffee or listening to the words of the friend in front of you? And then you see this girl tired of looking up and down, right and left, because the girl she's supposed to be having a drink with has been 10 minutes on the phone! That's fucking rude! And you see these couples in expensive French restaurants, candles and stuff, the guy trying to seduce her, and then the phone rings, and she answers! Jesus! You can be having sex with your girlfriend and her phone may ring at any time! So MAN, I quit! Is somebody dying? 'Cause unless somebody's dying, please don't call me! Don't call my friends while we are together! Don't call my girlfriend! I don't want to be always in touch! I'm not a fucking policeman or fireman! And it's no use turning the damn thing off 'cause they'll tell you "why did you turn it off?", "why did you leave it at home?" So I'm definitely not buying another one of these. I'll keep on writing e-mails, using Skype, and trying to meet my friends to have coffe or dinner or whatever. And yes, I'll keep my Brazilian cell phone, but that's another story, Brazil is not in the fucking First World, there there's the chance of being kidnapped and left in the land of nobody! DAMN!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Concordo contigo em alguma coisa, mas estah um pouco radical esse teu post.Algumas coisas:
*Se tu eh da politica de nao usar celular, nao usa em lugar nenhum.... nem aih, nem no Brasil.
*Se tu fores sequestrado eles vao entrar em contato com alguem... E se te largarem em algum lugar, usa o telefone publico mais proximo.
*Eu acho que o celular pode ser uma roubada na maioria das vezes, mas eh pelos momentos que ele te salva que faz tudo isso valer a pena.

Mas tudo bem.... Mais um pro time da Rita Lee.

Anonymous said...

Outra coisa: receber mensagens eh muito bom!

E ahn, nao precisava ter jogado o aparelho no lixo. Foi uma atitude simbolica, mas pouco consciente.

roger said...

A Rita Lee não usa? Hihi. :)

Mmmm... Se celular só servisse para mensagens seria muito bom.

O tom radical é imitação do tom dos caras que fazem comentários políticos (irritados) nos videos de youtube.

Na verdade, quando o joguei no lixo sabia que em qualquer momento podia precisar de outro... E aquí é fácil, as companhias estão very happy de dar os aparelhos gratis.

Josep said...

Benvolgut Roger,
Et veig molt esverat per tan poca cosa. Això de no voler tenir mòbil ja és un tòpic. És la mateixa cosa de fa uns anys dels qui no volien tenir televisió. També n'hi deu haver que de no tenir internet en fan una militància. No n'hi ha per tant, home de Déu.
Jo em vaig sentir molt més alliberat el dia que vaig desempallegar-me dels calçotes. Ho has provat?
I això de renegar com un ianqui? Collons de Déu, qui et va fotre, per què cony en català ets tan fi?
Totes les coses van bé? En aquesta nostra pobra, bruta, trista, dissortada pàtria sota el jou sociata ens recordem molt de tu!

Sempre teu i sota teu,
Josep

roger said...

Hola Xusep,

L'esverament, com dic en l'altre comentari, és un exercici d'estil, i l'anglès em surt naturalment, de llegir i de veure vídeos a Internet. I el no portar mòbil és com això dels calçotets, portar-ne em tocava els ouets.

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