Para quem não gosta de ler os clássicos

Descobri esta página, engraçada e malvada, para quem não gosta de ler os clássicos. Os clássicos são, segundo os autores do site, livros tijolões tão entediantes quanto "pescar em um lago vazio", e, a metade das vezes, "sem um enredo discernível". Mas eles - os autores e colaboradores do site - estão aqui para dar uma mão.


Lord of the Flies (Não é um tijolão, mas é um clássico.)

(Some boys crash on an island.)
Ralph: We need a fire.
(They make a fire. It goes out.)
Ralph: We need a fire.
(They make a fire. It goes out.)
Jack: Forget the fire. Let's kill each other.
Other boys: Yeah!
(They do.)


The Catcher in the Rye

Holden Caulfield: Angst angst angst swear curse swear crazy crazy angst swear curse, society sucks, and I'm a stupid jerk.


King Lear

Lear: I am senile and old. Flatter me, and I'll write my will.
Regan and Goneril: Daddy, you are way the oh too awesome bomb. We would totally not ever, like, backstab you and take your land.
Cordelia: Dad, if you believe that, you're a fool.
Fool: I can dance. Bye.
Lear: I give everything to the suck-ups.
Regan and Goneril: We're in charge now, pops. Go away and go insane.
(Everyone dies.)


A Midsummer Night's Dream

Hermia, Lysander, Demetrius, and Helena: We're all in love with each other the wrong way around.
(Everyone goes into the woods. They have wacky experiences, pair off correctly, and live happily ever after.)


War and Peace

Lev Tolstoi: History controls everything we do, so there is no point in observing individual actions. Let's examine the individual actions of over 500 characters at great length.


Huckleberry Finn

Goes rafting. Goes home.


... E a minha preferida:

The Collected Works of Virginia Woolf

Life is beautiful and tragic. Let's put flowers in a vase.